Today’s posting will be a potpourri of random thoughts…

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There’s an everyday question that I’m beginning to have difficulty answering: “How are you doing?”

When someone asks that, I don’t know if it’s just a general, “Hey, how are you doing?” and they don’t have a clue as to what I’m going through; or if they’re in the know about my cancer and really want to know how I’m doing.

Just as I predicted on Day 1, the local gossip mill has spread the news pretty far and wide, so I really don’t know who knows.

So if I see someone in the hall and they ask, I’m a little reluctant to blurt out, “Okay for having cancer,” or something along those lines. Especially if they don’t know. Shocking people in hallways is not how I want to handle this.

On the other hand, if someone is genuinely wanting to know how I’m coping with my cancer, and all they ask is “How are you doing?”–without bringing up the C-word–and I respond with a quick “Fine,” I don’t want them to think that I don’t want to talk about it or am blowing them off.

It’s definitely an unexpected situation.

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So the girls have their pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness. Let me introduce you to the guys’ version for prostate cancer awareness:

I discovered that Googling for some information this morning.

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I finished my Christmas shopping on this 40-degree, drizzly afternoon. That will allow me to get things wrapped during a very blustery Sunday. (I use the term “wrapped” loosely; gift bags are the greatest invention known to mankind since the wheel.)

So that’s it for today. Happy Weekend!

Heat up a mug of hot chocolate or a glass of glühwein, settle into your favorite comfy chair, and relax, because this will be a long one…

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Before you do, however, first this disclaimer: Graphic descriptions ahead. Read at your own comfort level.

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So the surgeon (we’ll call him Dr. C in keeping with the “no-names-in-the-blog-to-protect-privacy” approach I’ve been using) walked into the exam room and introduced himself and said something along the lines of, “I’m sorry we have to have this discussion,” meaning “I’m sorry you have cancer.”

He was very easy-going yet very professional throughout the entire meeting. We started by reviewing my biopsy results, with him showing me where the cancer was within the prostate and making sure that I understood what the results meant.

He pulled out some laminated cut-away drawings of the male anatomy and walked me through the layout of all the key players in the area of the prostate, and then took a black dry erase marker and began showing me exactly where he would be cutting. He even brought in one of the robot arms with a miniature pair of scissors on the end to show me how large the instruments would be. (You can watch video of an actual robotic prostatectomy on the two links that I’ve added to the right. There’s very little blood and it really is fascinating.)

Dr. C then addressed the risks of the surgery and the possible complications afterwards. He showed me on the drawing where the bladder sphincter muscle was and how he would try to avoid getting too close to it to minimize the risk of incontinence after the surgery.

He also showed me the nerve bundles on either side of the prostate that control sexual function. Dr. C said that because the tumor on my prostate was so close to the nerves on the right side, he would have to remove that nerve bundle to ensure that he gets all the cancer. He said that very few guys with only one nerve bundle intact can “sport wood” (his words) on their own, without the assistance of a little blue pill. The other thing that happens during the surgery is that I’ll essentially have been given a vasectomy and will be “shooting blanks.”

As Dr. C went through his explanation, he answered nearly three-quarters of the questions on my page. Of course, I did ask those that weren’t answered in his discussion. A few highlights:

On his qualifications:

Dr. C trained for a year on the da Vinci robot when it was first brought to his hospital in 2003, and did his first operation on a patient in 2004. Since then, he’s operated on 700+ patients, with about 5% of them having post-surgery, long-term complications (mostly some form of incontinence or impotence).

On the procedure:

I’ll have to go for biofeedback training about two weeks in advance of the surgery to teach me how to exercise my bladder sphincter so that I have better urine control after the catheter comes out.

Dr. C will take some of the surrounding lymph nodes during the surgery to ensure that the cancer hasn’t spread to them.

If all goes well and there’s no sign of infection, I can be released from the hospital the day after the surgery. I’ll experience 3-5 days of a bloated feeling and pain, but it typically subsides to a tolerable level pretty quickly.

I’ll have a catheter for 5-8 days after the surgery.

On the recovery:

I should plan on 4 weeks off work to ensure a full and successful recovery. It will probably be at least 2 weeks before I can drive again.

I should also be up and walking around soon after the surgery and should be able to shower the day after as well.

There would be regular monitoring after the surgery to see if there’s any cancer remaining, but there should be no need for radiation or other therapies unless something shows up.

We probably spent nearly 30-40 minutes together and, before I left, he had one last surprise for me. He said, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to give you a Christmas greeting. I need to feel what I’m dealing with, so bend over and put your elbows on the table.” Ugh. Not again!

All in all, I was very impressed by Dr. C and I would feel quite comfortable in his care.

On the drive home, I received a call from the father of a friend of mine at work. Dr. C had removed his prostate five years earlier, and he was very pleased with Dr. C and the outcome of the surgery. It’s always good to hear that from someone with first-hand experience. It reinforced my thoughts about him.

So does all of this mean that I’m not going to see Dr. I in Indianapolis (get it?) on Monday? Nope. I’m still going to drive up there and check him out. I guess I’m just wired to comparison shop. 🙂

Has the glühwein put you to sleep yet??

On to today…

It was a bit of a rough start this morning. Even though everything was so positive with Dr. C, I had a whole lot rattling around in my head last night. I did sleep better than the night before—but not the best—and that made me a bit of a grouch this morning.

Mid-morning, I received a call from Dr. C’s surgery scheduler and spoke with her about scheduling the actual procedure. That was a bit unnerving. I figured that I’d go ahead and get myself on the calendar, and if Dr. I is even more impressive, I can schedule the surgery with him and cancel the date with Dr. C.

I’ll keep the date to myself until I land on the actual surgeon and the final date. That should be by mid-week next week.

So that’s it for this update.

Oh. “What the hell is glühwein?” you ask… Glühwein, or mulled wine, is a German holiday tradition—wine heated with spices like cinnamon, cloves, honey, and orange and is served warm. (I’m sure there are a gazillion different versions out there.)

You would think after spending the evening running around in 12-degree weather last night buying things, I would have been zonked. And I was. I went to bed around 10:30 and fell asleep pretty quickly by my standards.

Then the clock read 1:09 AM.

From that point on, I was tossing and turning until the alarm went off at 6:30.

Needless to say, my four hours of meetings this morning, plus another after lunch didn’t help energize me much today.

I came home to pick up my paperwork and questions for the surgeon, and by 3:15 PM was on my way to Cincinnati.

My stomach was in knots the whole drive down there and anyone who changed lanes without signaling received a verbal lashing from me. I would not have been good company.

The surgeon was great. He put me at ease within minutes as he started his consultation.

I’ll share more of the details tomorrow because, honestly, right now I’m too tired to think straight and am going to call it a night.

Okay. I have a problem.

When one goes Christmas shopping, isn’t one supposed to come back with more for others than for one’s self?? I may have read that someplace… But apparently I forgot about it tonight, because that’s what happened. It wasn’t a complete bust—I did pick up a few things, but not as much as I expected to. Oh well. I’ll try again before this weekend’s forecasted snow.

Today was a good day all around. A good night’s sleep (no chemical assist required since last Friday) certainly helps make the day much better.

I had another call from the surgeon’s office today asking for my insurance information in advance of tomorrow’s appointment. I’ve got my questions printed and my file folder ready to go.

So that’s it. Nothing else to report for the day.

Today was a pretty routine day without much to report. There were no lasting side effects from yesterday’s fun event, which was good.

I’m not overly anxious about meeting the surgeon in 48 hours. I feel well-prepared and ready. Of course, that will likely change on Thursday.

You may recall that I spoke with a coworker who’s been through the surgery, and I asked him in an email last week how long he was off work after the operation. Three weeks. When I’ll be able to drive depends on how quickly I recover and when the catheter comes out. Of course, my sister will be here for the surgery and the days immediately after the surgery, and I’m guessing there will be some limit as to how long she can be away from her job.

That’s got me thinking ahead to the logistics of being stuck in the house for 2-3 weeks. I’ll have to stock the pantry and freezer much better than I do now, and I may have to take you up on your kind offers to run errands for me.

And that’s got me thinking about how to coordinate it all. I’d hate to have six people bring dinner over one night, and no one show up for the next seven nights. Do I post an online calendar for scheduling? Do I leave a sign up list at work? Is it any wonder that my doctor asked me if I’m slightly OCD after showing her my list of 37 questions for the surgeons? Probably not.

Don’t worry. I’m not losing sleep over the logistics. But if the doctor says on Thursday or Monday, “Let’s operate Tuesday,” I may go into full panic mode at that point. That’s pretty unlikely, I suspect.

Still, I’ll want to get as much of this organized before the surgery so I don’t have to worry about it after. Plus, it distributes the load among everyone who’s offered to help and allows them to plan their own schedules. The only unknown is what I’ll be able to do for myself—or when I’ll run out of bread—and when.

I’m sure you’ll see more on this topic as we get closer. And, no, I’m not OCD. Just my Boy Scout training coming through—Be prepared!

So another life experience is behind me. Colonoscopy #1: Check.

I’ll spare the details other than to say that MoviPrep tastes awful, despite their best efforts to put some citrus flavoring in it.

It kept me pretty well occupied from 6 PM to nearly 11 PM, and that concerned me because the morning dose was supposed to be taken 4 hours before the procedure. If I spent 5 hours with the effects of the first dose…. Well, the math just didn’t add up, so I added another hour just to be sure and was up at 4:30 AM taking my next dose by 5:00. That worked out perfectly.

I’ll have to admit that the biopsy experience taught me not to get worked up about this procedure. I was going to be out and not feel a thing.

I was hooked up to the IV for the anesthesia, rolled into the procedure room on one of our company’s stretchers, and juiced up. They told me that it would be “conscious sedation,” meaning that I may be able to see and hear what was going on. Nope. I was out like a light. Or, if I was conscious, I don’t have a clue that I was. Isn’t anesthesia wonderful?

The doctor came in after the procedure and complimented me on my cleansing job. Gee, thanks, Doc. He had no problems navigating through my colon, and was able to find one small polyp which he removed for biopsy.

Based on the size and nature of the polyp, he was pretty confident that it was benign. Of course, the pathology results should confirm that in another week or so. He even thought that it was the type of polyp that would allow me to come back in 7 years instead of 5 years.

A friend from work drove me home and I spent the afternoon sleeping off the anesthesia, but not before wolfing down a quick sandwich to put some food in my completely empty stomach. Hopefully the nap won’t cause me to be up all night long. I don’t think so because I’m still feeling a little groggy.

So time to throw dinner together.

Okay, so this not eating any solid foods a full day in advance of the colonoscopy sucks. I’m starving!! (I know, I could afford to skip a meal or two, but this isn’t my idea of a fun Sunday.)

The colonoscopy is tomorrow, so keep your fingers crossed that they don’t find anything out of the ordinary. I told the nurse when she called on Thursday that I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and to look extra closely. At least with this procedure, I’ll know pretty much right away whether the doctor found any polyps that had to be removed for testing (of course, if there are, I won’t know those results for a few more days. The ol’ waiting game.)

It’s been a snowy, quiet day around here. A good day to get caught up on laundry and some other odds and ends around the house.

Well, time to drink a liter of MoviPrep… Good thing I had a good night’s sleep last night. Who knows what’s in store for me tonight.

A pretty routine day today after a good night’s sleep last night.

I ran to the bank early; cleaned my home office in mid-morning; and ran to Staples to buy some office supplies.

I’ve also been trying my best to follow the diet prescribed in advance of the big Roto-rooter exercise on Monday. No solid foods after 11 AM Sunday morning. Fun.

One of my cousins sent me a link to a pretty neat video, so I’ve linked to it under the “Fun Links” to the right. The note that came with the link read:

I agree. And thanks again to all of you who have stood by me the last 24 days.

Well, I’m back amongst the living.

Today was the best day of the week, and not just because it’s payday and Friday. I was far less tired and pretty much fully functional once again. I’m not sure what happened earlier in the week that caused me all the sleepless nights, but I hope it’s behind me.

My doctor and I talked about my cancer, the surgeon selection process, and the timing of the surgery. She provided some valuable insight in how to think about it all. We also talked at length about my sleeplessness.

We discussed options from pretty much doing nothing to going all the way to putting me on some big-time anti-depressant medication. We agreed to slide into this by trying Benadryl before bed to help me sleep (she didn’t like the idea of Tylenol PM because of the potential impact on the liver if taken for an extended period).

With some rest this weekend, I hope to be back on an even keel for Monday’s big event: The Colonoscopy.

This day did not go as planned. At all.

The plan? To work from home while awaiting a FedEx delivery that required my signature, and then go in to work once it arrived.

The reality? Yet another essentially sleepless night had me at 100% exhaustion when the alarm went off at 6:30 AM. That’s three nights in a row of me not being able to stop the thoughts running through my head for any period of time. My body just said, “Nope. No more. Not gonna do a thing,” and basically shut down.

I stayed in bed into early afternoon and was able to get caught up on some sleep, but not without interruption by more of those random thoughts and a phone call from one of the doctor’s offices. I feel better this afternoon, but still not 100%.

The FedEx package didn’t arrive until nearly 3:00 PM, and at that point, I decided not to go into work. I’ll be marking today as a vacation day on the calendar. Instead, I used the time to take care of a few errands that I otherwise would have had to take time off for.

I ran to the urologist’s office late this afternoon to sign a release form to release my records to the surgeon in Indy, and I stopped by the BMV at 4:00 PM to renew my license plates. Merry Christmas, BMV!!

On the positive side of all this lost sleep, I do have a list of 18 questions (with 17 sub-questions) to ask the surgeons. 🙂 I’m sure they’re going to love me. Inquiring minds do want to know…