Hello again, everyone!

It’s been a pretty good week. Work has been hectic and I think I’m finally settled back into the routine, as “routine” as things are these days.

On Sunday, I made a trip to Chicago and back to attend the visitation for my brother-in-law’s mother; she passed away on Thursday after 88 years on this Earth.

Both my sister and brother-in-law instructed me not to make the 4-hour drive because the weather Saturday night was crappy–rain, freezing rain, and snow. Oh. And because I wasn’t “normal.” 🙂 I guess they meant that I haven’t fully recovered from the surgery.

I told them I’d check the weather in the morning, and if it looked good, I’d come up anyway. I wanted to be there to support them (and to prove that I am “normal”). Everyone was surprised to see me and told me how well I looked (I need to buy them glasses). I guess people think that I should look differently as a cancer patient. Maybe it’s that stereotypical image of the patient who’s gone through chemo or radiation that gets lodged in people’s minds. I don’t know. Regardless, they were all glad to see that I was doing well and up and about.

I did stop for a good ol’ Chicago Italian beef sandwich on the way out of town. Mmmm-mmmm. No one around here makes a sandwich like that!

So it made for a long day–4 hours up, 3 hours there, and 4 hours back–but I’m glad I did it. It was a good test to prove that I can travel some again. It wasn’t without its differences though. Before the surgery, I’d typically just make one “pit stop” at a rest area, but on both trips I had to make three. No biggy.

BIOLOGY REFERENCES AHEAD

From the incontinence perspective, it was a week where I don’t feel as though I made much progress. In fact, on Saturday, it seemed like a setback.

I was just working in my home office on some things for work, and it seemed that no matter what I did, I sprung a leak. Blinked an eye. Leaked. Reached for a pen. Leaked. Stood up. Leaked. Hair fell out of my balding head. Leaked. I was quite annoyed at the situation and even a bit worried about what would happen on the trip to Chicago the next day.

Nothing. Nothing happened. I had one of my driest days in a while on the trip up and back. Go figure. Monday was fine. Tuesday was fine during the day, but Tuesday night, I was doing chores around the house and it was Saturday all over again.

One of the reasons I’m posting this later than I planned was that I had my follow-up appointment with the surgeon late this afternoon.

We reviewed my case and he says that I’m on track and nothing seems out of the ordinary:

• The 2-4 trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night are typical for the first 6 months.
• The increased leakage late in the day is normal as the body is fatigued.
• There will be good days/weeks and worse days/weeks.

All-in-all, he was pleased with my progress and reminded me that the infection really did a number on my system, slowing the normal recovery process. We’ve scheduled the 6 month PSA test for 4 August and another follow-up for 11 August to get those results. Hope for another undetectable reading.

POTENTIAL PURCHASING REFERENCE AHEAD

Okay. Another reason that this is a later than usual posting is, after the doctor’s appointment, I stopped by my favorite car dealer to take a spin in a car that they’ve got on the lot that I’ve had my eye on for a while now.

Rather than have me take it for a normal test drive, the salesman let me take it home overnight. I told him that I have to stick around the house tomorrow for a delivery, and that I may not be able to make it back by their 6 PM closing time tomorrow night. “That’s okay. Just bring it back Saturday morning,” he said. Pretty nice of them. (One of the reasons it’s my favorite car dealer.)

It’s a pretty sweet ride, but I’m not sure I’m going to make the leap on that particular car. (It’s a different model than my current car, and I wanted to check it out because I really haven’t had any experience in that model.) We’ll see.

And, no, this isn’t a true impulse buy–I’ve been thinking about this well before the surgery. Of course, that assumes that I go forward with either model. When it comes to something like this, I’m never impulsive! I think I annoyed the crap out of the salesman who sold me my car 6 years ago for nearly 18 months. 😦

So that’s it for this update.

Last week when I wrote my first weekly posting, I actually came home each night and jotted down the notes from the day. In essence, I was keeping my blog going each night without publishing it. That kind of defeated the purpose of going to a weekly update so I could have more time to play.

This week is different–it’s all from memory. Of course, I can’t remember what I had for lunch, so this will be a short blog.

I’ll begin with general stuff, and then get into some detailed biology (a word of warning to those whose minds aren’t so inquiring).

It’s good to be able to get around more. On the weekends, I’ve been able to get out and do things that I haven’t done in a long time. I ran to Jungle Jim’s International Market in Cincinnati and one of the salesmen there convinced me to try Grimbergen Double Ale–a Belgian beer. Very nice. (He had to twist my arm–hard!)

I also managed to test drive a couple of cars on Saturday, thinking that I may deserve a “Life-is-too-short-and-I-kicked-cancer’s-ass” present for myself. Of course, a week earlier, my sister reminded me that people who go through major life events–like cancer–shouldn’t make any major decisions for at least a year. I’ll give her advice due consideration. Alpine White or Black Saphire Metallic? J

I enjoy seeing the people at work again, but I think I returned at a crazy time. There’s a lot of new activity happening since I was out, and that makes getting caught up and refocused a bit more challenging.

I’ve been able to reconnect with folks over lunch or dinner, and that’s been good (although it takes me off my post-cancer diet sometimes–I really am trying to eat more healthful foods!).

My boss was a bit surprised when I reminded him last Friday that I have 10 vacation days remaining that I have to use before 31 May. I’m working on plans on how to use them. I don’t see a European adventure in my immediate future. I’m not quite up to that physically right now.

BIOLOGY AHEAD!

On the recovery front, things are progressing steadily. With the incontinence, each day seems to be a little better than the one before, and as long as I continue to see progress, I’m happy. Of course, there are moments of regression that temporarily annoy me.

I feel as though I’m getting closer to the day where I may be able to abandon the absorbent guards that I use. In fact, since the weekend, I’ve stopped using them at night without incident and, on Sunday, I went without during the day as I did things around the house. I had only one minor incident. It’s still premature for me to go without at work–I’m more active there than here at home.

I do notice that later in the day the number of incidents seems to increase. Perhaps it’s just that my body is tired after the long day, or perhaps it’s because I’ve been drinking water all day long, or perhaps a combination of both.

I still have nights (like last night) where I’m running to the bathroom 3-4 times through the night. And then I’ll have a night where I can go 6 or 7 hours without having to make a run. Those multiple run nights make for a fun and grumpy next day.

For several months now, I’ve been noticing that my eye glasses don’t seem to be effective as they used to be, meaning that it’s time for an exam and an updated prescription. However, in the last few weeks, the problem seems to be gradually increasing, especially in my right eye.

Under normal circumstances, I’d say that it’s merely me getting older, or the additional eye strain of sitting in front of a computer all day long again after being off work for 8 weeks. I’d go for my checkup and get an updated set of glasses.

But one of the known side effects of taking Cialis is blurred vision and–in rare cases–complete and permanent vision loss.

So, being perhaps a bit overly cautious, I stopped taking the Cialis early this week and set up an appointment with my optometrist (unfortunately, the first opening was 7 April). I also called my ophthalmologist this morning to get their take on the situation. They wanted me to call my surgeon to get his advice, so I did.

My surgeon agreed with stopping the Cialis for now, waiting a couple of days to see if things get better, worse, or stay the same, and if they get worse, to get to the ophthalmologist.

Again, I think I may be overreacting and it’s as simple as me needing an updated prescription. Still, why risk permanent vision impairment for the sake of a boner? Right?

I’ve had a routine surgery follow-up appointment scheduled for some time now (next Thursday). I’m sure we’ll talk about all this then.

Otherwise all the drain holes and incision points have healed nicely and there’s no pain or sign of lymph fluid accumulating again. Things keep progressing…

• Family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors come through when you really need them the most, and for that, I will be forever grateful.  Thanks everyone!
• I can’t control events, but I can do my best to control how I react to them.
• Fear and anger consume far too much energy that should otherwise be spent on getting better.
• I had to be my own advocate, researching as much as possible to be an educated patient.
• There was such a thing as doing too much research, and that I had to just stop at some point and make decisions with the knowledge that I had.
• Humor—however misguided or irreverent—had to be a part of the cure.
• This wasn’t all about me.  Those around me reacted differently and I needed to recognize, understand, and embrace that by being sensitive to their needs.
• Patience is a virtue (although not easily practiced).
• Talking openly about cancer makes it easier to deal with having cancer.
• There is no shame in having cancer.

Warm.  But not from a fever.  From the wonderful 65 degree weather here!  Time to open some windows.

Again, no fever through the day, so that’s reassuring that things are getting back to normal.  Also reassuring was the fact that the discomfort in my groin continues to decrease. 

I find that there’s a little more spring in my step as I walk (I still can’t walk at my normal “supervisor sprint” pace that I’m used to), and that standing up from a seated position is getting easier.  I’m also having fewer incontinence episodes when I stand (still requires deliberate effort to make that happen, but it’s happening!).

So it’s time to get away from the keyboard, open some windows, and perhaps even enjoy a bit of the evening outside before the sun sets.  Ciao!

Back in the groove.  Just about.

It was a good day at work today, getting back into the swing of things.  Fortunately, I had only one meeting today and having the extra time to get caught up and kick off a new project was good. 

I haven’t had a temperature above normal since 10 PM Sunday night, so that’s a good sign.  Perhaps I had a bit of a bug; lots of people say there’s one going around.

The discomfort in my groin is still there, though, but it is decreasing.  I’m beginning to think that perhaps all the new activity was the cause of some of it.  But I still won’t rule out fluid build-up quite yet.

Interestingly, I didn’t hear from the doctor today, which makes me wonder if he got my note from Sunday night.  I’ll call tomorrow just to let him know what’s been going on (and to see if his staff delivered the message).

Hard to believe it was six weeks ago tonight that I was coming out of surgery recovery asking for a ribeye steak.

Apparently I was really anxious to go to work today, because for some reason I woke up around 4 AM and couldn’t fall back asleep.

I made it to my office on time and got settled in after not having seen it since 23 December.  It actually was a pretty productive day–along with some of the “Good to see you back at work!” socializing that went on.

I did last the entire day, which was a good thing.  Although, I’ll have to admit that I’m a bit zonked from the early wake-up time and from just being up and about.

As far as the fever is concerned, my temperature has been at or below normal since 10 PM last night.  That’s good, too.

The discomfort in my groin was less today than it was yesterday, and that’s another good thing.  By the end of the day, though, I could tell that it was beginning to come back.  But this discomfort is a little different than yesterday’s.  It’s more in the area of the drain holes, and I’m wondering if all the walking that I did through the building is what’s caused the increase. 

It seems pretty mild when I’m sitting, but when I walk I can feel it more.  And when I walk, my speed is limited because the faster I go, the more discomfort there is.  I suspect that my muscles just aren’t used to the activity.  Walking through my house is not nearly the same as walking through our facility.

So I’ll continue to keep an eye on things and document changes as they occur.

So I’m wondering if this is really behind me.

After posting yesterday’s comments, my fever returned and peaked at 99.7 early last night.  So far, since midnight, the highest it’s been is 99.0.  That’s moving in the right direction.

The other thing that’s been bugging me is this discomfort in my groin.  Initially, I thought it was from the drainage tube opening, but now I’m not so sure.  I’m wondering if it’s lymph fluid building up again.

The one thing that hasn’t happened yet is an increase in incontinence.  When I was in the hospital with the infection, the fluid was putting so much pressure on my bladder that I had little control over it.  I’m really hoping that I don’t return to that state again if the fluid is building up.

Needless to say, this makes going back to work tomorrow questionable.  I’ll play it by ear, and I’ll also contact the surgeon to let him know what’s happened since pullng the drain on Thursday.

Even with all that going on, I did manage to run out and buy some new pants today (I’ve lost 20 pounds since the surgery).  The weather has been great–sunny, warm, and in the upper 50’s.

What a goofy day. 

Actually, it probably started last night.  I was a bit concerned because I was running a slight temperature (max of 99.6) and I thought, “Not again.”

I turned the lights out around 10:30 PM and fell asleep pretty quickly.  Being up till 3 AM the night before probably had something to do with that.  I slept well and each time that I got up to use the bathroom (twice), I checked my temperature.  It was hovering right around 99.0.  I’d fall asleep easily and, the next thing you know, it was 10 AM.

So far through today, my temperature has remained below 99.0.  That’s good.  I’ll keep monitoring it to make sure there are no signs of the infection returning.

Based on that little scare, I just took it easy around the house today.  I did run to Kroger to stock up on groceries for the week.  That’s been about it.  I may try to run out for some fun tomorrow–the weather is supposed to be quite nice–mid 40’s.

And speaking of weather, the groundhog was right.  When I went to check my mail this afternoon, there was a robin sitting on my lawn.  Spring is on its way!!

It’s funny.  After six weeks of wandering around in a bathrobe or sweats and t-shirts, putting on jeans and a regular shirt for the first time is odd.  And constrictive.  I wonder if I can modify the dress code at work for my return…  Hmmm…..

This morning I went to work to drop off my return to work form with my boss and I spent just over an hour wandering around saying hi to people.  It was good to see them all again.  I’m ready for the interaction with real people on a regular basis once again.  Sitting in the house alone for this long does get on one’s nerves just a bit.

After wandering through the offices, I went to lunch with a friend to get caught up with her.

Last night was another sleepless night.  I think I was so excited about the freedom from tubes that I just couldn’t shut off my brain.  I started to think about all the things that I can do again, both outside of work and at work, and that just kept me going until about 3 AM.  Ugh.  I hope that excitement is behind me and I can get into a regular sleep pattern once again.

As far as the drainage tube site is concerned, it’s closing up and beginning to heal.  I’ll have to admit that this one seems to be a bit more tender than the first one that was removed for some reason.  I’ll keep an eye on it. 

I’ve also been keeping an eye on my temperature: 98.6.  Let’s hope it stays that way through the weekend and beyond.

I’ll wrap up the day with dinner at the local Mexican restaurant with friends in a short while.

Happy Weekend!