Life After Radical Prostatectomy: 60 Months Later

Moonrise over Algondones Dunes near Brawley, California
Moonrise over Algodones Dunes near Brawley, California

So it’s been 60 months since my radical prostatectomy. How am I doing?

That’s a little more challenging to answer with this update, as there’s been some change since my last six month update.


For four years, my PSA had remained undetectable, but in September, not long after my 54-month update, my PSA moved from undetectable (<0.03 ng/ml) to 0.05 ng/ml. Not a huge number and not close to the biochemical recurrence definition of 0.2 ng/ml, but concerning enough to both me and my urologist that we did a follow-up PSA test in December. Those results came in at 0.04 ng/ml. The urologist said there was no need to panic, but was also concerned enough to put me back onto a four month testing cycle again. This could likely go on for years.


That unexpected movement in my PSA sent me on an emotional ride rivaling any looping theme park roller coaster, at least initially. As we get into the test, wait, test again, wait some more mode, I have to be wary of letting myself get trapped in a state of suspended animation. Between the initial test results in September and the follow-up test in December, I placed my life on hold for those three months. I can’t do that. I have to live between each test going forward, knowing that perhaps someday the reality will be that the cancer is back.


I continued with my weight loss program (75 lbs. / 34 kg), and that has certainly helped with my incontinence. But then I caught a cold in October that just wouldn’t relent, and during most of that time, I found myself back in pads as insurance when I coughed, sneezed, or blew my nose hard.

Since then, I’ve noticed there have been a few days where I may be more tired, and I may be prone to some very slow seepage that has been a little disconcerting.

Sexual Function

I continue to do so-so in the ED department. Remember, I have only one nerve bundle remaining, but I can get an 80%–90% erection most of the time. Some days are better; others are worse.

I do find that my libido is still there, and there are times through the day where I can feel things stirring down below. Not enough to obtain a natural erection—those days are gone—but enough that with a little stimulation, it would be much easier to achieve an erection.

Support Group

You would have thought that I might have sought out help in the form of a support group earlier than five years into this journey, but I didn’t until now. I joined the Gay Men’s Prostate Cancer Support Group here, mainly to see if anyone had any insights into the social aspects of trying to date after a prostatectomy. I’ve only been to two meetings so far and it has been beneficial to hear what others continue to go through. I’ll keep at it for a while longer and be there to share my own experience with a couple of the newly diagnosed members.


Yes, I’m one of the 98% of men diagnosed with prostate cancer to hit the five year survival mark. But with an increased PSA over two readings three months apart, I have to admit that I am a bit more concerned about the notion of recurrence.

Month 61 – Letter to the Newly Diagnosed

A few weeks ago, one of my blog’s readers, a three-time cancer survivor, emailed me with a suggestion for a post topic: An open letter to the newly diagnosed, offering insights and support based on my own experience. I found the idea intriguing, so here goes…

Dear Newly Diagnosed Cancer Patient,

“You have cancer.” Three little words that will change the lives of you and your family forever. It’s terrifying. It’s bewildering. It’s overwhelming. It sucks.

Oregon Sunset 2Cry a little. Cry a lot. But strive to get through the initial shock and emotional reaction as quickly as you can. You’ve got work to do.

Don’t bother trying to answer the question, “Why?” You’ll spend too much energy to never get the answer. You’ll need to focus that energy on what’s ahead.

Don’t be ashamed that you have cancer. Have open and honest conversations about it with those around you; don’t bottle it up. Find a tidbit of humor in the situation and inject it into the conversation. When you do, people will feel more comfortable around you. Recognize, however, that some people will find being around cancer too difficult and will withdraw. Let them go, for their sake and yours. Most will return once they’ve had time to process what’s happening.

Relationships will be put to the test and may change. Remember that this isn’t all about you. It’s about those closest to you, too, and sometimes it can be more than they can bear. You’ll have to be the strong one for them. Don’t be surprised when some of your most casual acquaintances become your biggest supporters. Embrace them.

Become your own advocate. Research, research, and research some more. You may have the best medical team in the world, but question them. While they’re highly trained medical professionals, they’re still human. They may have their own self-interests in mind. If you ask a radiation oncologist what the best treatment option will be, he or she will likely say radiation. If you ask a surgeon, the answer will likely be surgery. You have to be comfortable with what’s right for you, knowing all the potential risks, side effects, and complications.

Seek out other patients who have had your cancer, whether a friend, a family member, or in a support group (or even through a blog). They can be the greatest resource available to you. They can tell you their first-hand experience and how the cancer and the treatment impacts their daily life. Recognize that each case is unique, so take their input with a grain of salt and realize you may not have the same result.

You can research and consult with your medical team until the cows come home, but at some point you’re going to have to make a decision. You. It’s your body and your life. You have to be comfortable that your research was thorough, and that you’ll make the best decision possible with the information at hand at that point in time. Then place your trust in your medical team to do the best they can.

You will be stressed. You’ll have “cancer” on the mind 24/7. Figure out ways to distract yourself from the cancer thoughts even for a few hours. Go to a movie, take a drive through the country, take a hike—whatever works for you. The stress can wear you down physically. Get plenty of rest after those sleepless nights; watch your nutrition. You’ve got to be as healthy as you can going into the challenges ahead.

All of this is far easier said than done. I know. Friends and family will offer assistance; take them up on their offers. They’re not there to pity you; they’re there to offer genuine help and support. Don’t let pride get in the way.

While we all hope for the best possible outcome, the harsh reality is that not everyone survives cancer. Make sure your affairs are in order, especially advanced medical directives, and that your family understands  and will honor your desires.

Being told you have cancer is not the end; it’s the beginning of a process.

In my case, I was diagnosed with Stage IIb prostate cancer, and the diagnosis was the beginning of my process to determine what treatment option was best for me. But even if you’re diagnosed with late Stage IV cancer and are considered to be terminal, it’s still the beginning of the process to figure out the best options for your remaining time.

Lastly, even if your cancer allows for successful treatment, cancer will always be in your thoughts long after the treatment ends. I’m five years out from my diagnosis and treatment, and a little “recurrence cloud” follows me around every day, as I wonder whether or not the cancer will return. Once you introduce cancer into your vocabulary, it’s there for good, whether the actual disease is there or not.

I wish you and your family all the best as you begin your own journey.


Five Years

It was five years ago today that my biopsy results were delivered: It’s prostate cancer.

Five years later, I’m back in the waiting-and-wondering mode as I wait as patiently as I can for my next PSA test to see if my September PSA reading of 0.05 ng/ml was a fluke (readings for the previous four years always came back undetectable), or if it’s the beginning of an upward trend and a trip to recurrence.

I plan to have my blood drawn on 2 December and should be able to get my results online 3-5 business days later. My appointment with my urologist is on 15 December.

On the whole, I’ve been doing pretty well emotionally. I’ve put this onto the back burner for now, but I’m finding that, as I get closer to the blood draw (it’s just three weeks away), I’m becoming a tad more moody. There are days where I’m doing quite well, and there are days where I simply think, “I really don’t want to go through this again.”  In the interim, I have been reading about recurrence and treatment options to get myself a little smarter about it all. With luck, I won’t have to put that research to use.

Let’s keep our fingers crossed…

On the general health front, I spent a good chunk of October fighting a cold. It went on for over 4 weeks and just wouldn’t relent. (Some coworkers suffered the same fate, and my doctor confirmed that it was just a cold–no pneumonia or bronchitis–and I just had to ride it out.)

With all of the coughing, I returned to my incontinence pads as insurance, and they were definitely needed some days. I will say, however, I’ve continued my weight loss program, and being 67 lbs. /30 kg lighter, has really helped decrease the severity of the stress incontinence.  It would have been far worse had I had this cold a year ago.

I attended my first prostate cancer support group last night at the San Diego LGBT Center. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do since September, but life kept throwing me curve balls. Even five years into this adventure, there definitely was value in hearing perspectives of other guys. I’m glad I attended.

Finally, you would have thought that after five years of blogging, I’d be better connected in the blogging community. Let’s just say that I’m apparently a slow learner and it’s only been in the last few months that I’ve discovered how to open doors to other bloggers.

A few weeks ago, I came across Mansacked: A Blog About Prostate Cancer written by a gentleman five months into his experience with prostate cancer.  He, too, has been very open in his discussion which, to me, is very important. Check it out.


Month 22 – Status Quo

Aside from this being Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, there really isn’t much that’s changed since last month’s post.

Things continue to go well on pretty much every front with the exception of the sexual function.  That’s still only running at the 50% – 60% level and I think it’s time that I retry the Cialis again.  (Readers of this blog may recall that I had problems with my vision shortly after starting it after the catheter was removed, so I stopped taking it.  I thought eyesite was more important than an erection.)

I did find that there’s a local prostate cancer support group in my area that I may get involved with, mainly to share my experience with guys who are newly diagnosed.  I’ll have to do some research on it…

So that’s about it.  A short post this month.