That’s how I felt right out of bed this morning. It was really odd. Not depressed (I think). Not angry. Just sad. And a bit emotional.
I swear, if my reflection in the mirror whispered, “Boo!” I would have been in tears. And considering that I haven’t shed a tear since the beginning of this journey, perhaps it’s time.
And the sadness lasted pretty much through the entire day, much like the gray clouds that have been hovering overhead for much of this week.
I think I may be coming to terms with the fact that this could be bigger than I have thought it was all along. Even when the surgery is a success, I’ll still have cancer in my thoughts for the rest of my life. Will it come back? Will it appear elsewhere? When can I call myself cancer-free? Five years? Ten years? Ever? What will I have to give up in order to increase my chances of remaining cancer-free?
So what does one do to shake the sadness? Shop.
I ran to Jungle Jim’s market to pick up the Christmas goodies that I usually bring to my sister’s house, and a few extra things for me leapt off the shelves and into my cart. Just like Christmas shopping on Day 28. 🙂
So if red wine helps prevent prostate cancer and dairy products feed prostate cancer cells, does having wine and cheese turn into a zero sum game? Do they cancel each other out? Just wondering…
The next chapter in my “Surviving Prostate Cancer” book talks about the effect of diet on prostate cancer. Red meat and other sources of animal fat (e.g., cheese) are big no-no’s. Fruits, vegetables, grains—all good guys. (Back to that “What will I have to give up to remain cancer-free” question.)
The “tease” on the book is from USA Today: “The ultimate book on the No. 1 men’s disease in the world…should be in every man’s home.” I’m only through three chapters of the book, and I’m beginning to see why they said that. It’s well-written and quite thorough.
Guys, if you have a history of prostate cancer in your family, you should check it out because you’re at higher risk than most. (It was only $11.55 on Amazon.com, and, no, I don’t get a commission!) Getting through the remaining nine chapters will be my goal for the weekend.