Day 3,394 – Doctor Visit

Well, I didn’t expect that…

I met with the urologist this afternoon—a new one to my case—and he was personable but very direct.

We talked about the goofy PSA reading and he wasn’t all that concerned about it. It appeared to be lab error and dismissed it as pretty much meaningless. But what followed caught me a little off-guard. “The one thing you absolutely do not want to do is start treatment.” He was quite emphatic. His reasoning was several-fold.

First, he talked about over-treatment given my numbers and pathology. He was looking at how long it took for the PSA to return post-surgery (nearly five years) and how slowly it’s been increasing (PSA doubling time / velocity). Those were positive indicators to him. Treatments like radiation and hormone therapy have side effects that impact quality of life and can be avoided with minimal risk for now.

Second, he expressed concern that if we started treatment too soon, specifically hormone therapy, it would be less effective when we may need it the most.

Third, he mentioned the absolute value of my PSA and how imaging wouldn’t be able to detect where any cancer may be at that level. That’s nothing new to me. We talked about the Ga-68 PSMA trial up at UCLA, and he confirmed that at my PSA level, the chances of finding something meaningful were small (<30%).

Finally, he was very much aware that continued monitoring is needed to make sure that this doesn’t get away from us, and he was content with PSA tests every six months considering how slowly the PSA was increasing. I wasn’t quite comfortable with that, so my next PSA test will be in late June with an appointment on 2 July 2020.

I did mention to him the issues I’ve been having with my back and sciatica, and that I had an MRI last night to have that checked out. I’m 99.5% certain that the problem is related to a back injury that happened in 1986, but that other 0.5% of me was wondering if there was metastasis to the spine. He pretty much dismissed that possibility out of hand given where my PSA level is at. (Hey, my mind wanders into some pretty dark corners sometimes, but given that one of the first place prostate cancer likes to metastasize is the spine, it’s not too far-fetched an idea.)

Again, I was a little taken aback by how emphatic he was concerning not pursuing any treatment at this moment. I got the sense that he really values trying to balance avoiding over-treatment versus quality of life versus knowing when to step in and act. For now, I’m comfortable with continued monitoring with another PSA test in four months.


So, I’ll leave you with a little urology “humor” that has men cringing everywhere.

As I was sitting in the exam room waiting for the doctor, I looked over on the desk and saw the tools of the trade—some lubricating jelly and toilet tissue—at the ready for the dreaded DRE. (The rubber gloves were in dispensers hanging on the wall.)

Then I reminded myself that it was a DRE during a routine physical that discovered the mass on my prostate and started this adventure. Thirty seconds of discomfort can save a life.

IMG_20200225_131804422
Urologist tools of the trade.

Day 3,392 – PSA Retest Results

My last PSA test on 4 February showed a 50% drop in my value compared to the previous test in September 2019, which is a major, unexplained swing considering that I haven’t been doing treatments of any type to lower my PSA. It just didn’t sit right with me, so I asked for a retest.

PSA 20200223I went in on 20 February for the retest, and the PSA came back at 0.16 ng/ml, exactly where it was in September 2019. (At least that’s the silver lining in the cloud: it didn’t go even higher.)

We’ll probably never get a good explanation for the dip in my PSA earlier this month, and I guess that’s just part of dealing with this beast. I’m going to leave the errant data point on my chart just to show how wacky this can be at times.

The one thing that this has done, though, is drive my PSA Doubling Time down to 39.7 months according to the Memorial Sloan-Kettering PSADT Calculator (excluding the 0.08 reading). That’s still a very good number, but it’s downward trend over time is becoming more concerning.

I’m really glad that I was able to get the retest done before my appointment with the doctor on Tuesday. It certainly will make for an interesting discussion.

More to come…

Month 111 – PSA Results Are In

Baffled. Completely and utterly baffled.

Excited that my PSA value went from 0.16 ng/ml in September to 0.08 ng/ml last week, but completely thrown for a loop as to how and why a 50% decrease happened (without any treatment or other intervention). The last time I was at 0.08 ng/ml was nearly three years ago in April 2017.

I follow the same routine for a week before each PSA blood test to avoid activities that may influence the outcome. The only difference time was that I had a cold/flu the days before the test (Monday afternoon-Thursday evening; blood draw on Friday morning), but I can’t imagine that having any influence on a PSA number. I’ll ask when I talk to the doctor on 25 February 2020.

I tried updating my PSA Doubling Time using the MSKCC PSADT calculator, and this bumped my PSADT from 43 months to 123 months. There is a caveat, though. The online calculator accepts only PSA values of 0.10 or more, so I rounded up my 0.08 to 0.10 to run the calculation.

I get that there can be lab errors or accuracy concerns as well, but I would be hard-pressed to attribute a 50% shift to a lab issue. Still, when you look at the last four data points on my chart, there is pretty significant fluctuation between each and its previous data point when compared to the quite consistent series of data points prior to that. It makes you go, “Hmm…”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining about where the PSA is at. I will say, however, that these kinds of wild swings make it challenging to wrap your head around what’s happening in order to prepare for what’s next. I was mentally gearing up for calls to imaging centers and radiation oncologists because I was expecting the result to be in the 0.16 to 0.18 range this time around.

So that’s it. A short post with unexpected, somewhat bizarre results. We’ll see what the doctor says on the 25th.

PSA 20200207

Month 106 – Almost Time

Work is insanely busy for me right now, so this will be a shorter post than usual. (“Thank you!” you say.)

I’m coming to the end of the six months since my last PSA test (and the first six month test frequency in many years), so it’s almost time for my next visit to Dracula. I’m looking at my calendar and I’m thinking that I’ll go somewhere around 7 or 8 October, but anticipation may have me try to squeeze it in a little earlier. Perhaps even the tail end of September. Either way, I have an appointment with the urologist on 22 October to review the results.

I’m not even going to try and predict where the next marker on the chart will land. My spreadsheet failed me wonderfully last time out. As I recall, it predicted a value of around 0.14, and I came in at 0.10. One result at a time…

As a refresher here’s my PSA chart:

PSA 20190326

Last week, I stumbled across a comment in a Facebook prostate cancer support group that talked about rising PSA, and the author recommended reading/viewing Dr. Charles “Snuffy” Smith’s article, “When Recurrent PCa isn’t Cancer.” Dr. Smith is the editor-in-chief of the website, Prostapedia.

The video was published four years ago, but Dr. Smith seemed to reinforce the notion that my continued surveillance of my PSA without taking other action may not be as crazy an idea as many may think it is (including myself, on occasion). Of course, I’m sure there are plenty of others out there who would argue otherwise, too.

Even though there are a thousand opinions out there, we patients sometimes forget that we really can control our treatment path, as long as we do it in a well-researched and well-thought out way, assessing the risks and rewards. I get to decide what to do in the end. It’s my body and my life, after all.

Stay tuned.

Day 3,058 – A Date with Dracula

My local friendly phlebotomist, aka Dracula, just sucked a vial of blood from my arm for the next PSA test. I should have the results online by Friday.

I was impressed. In and out of the clinic in less than ten minutes. Not bad at all.

Here’s where we were the last time around just as a refresher:

PSA 20181203 clean

Day 2,841 – A Chat with the Urologist

I met with the urologist this afternoon to go over my 1 August 2018 PSA test results and it was an interesting conversation.

This was a new guy wearing his spiffy white lab coat with the University of California-San Diego (UCSD) emblem embroidered on the pocket. (I pretty much see a different doctor each time I go to the VA hospital and, yes, UCSD doctors care for patients at the VA hospital, too.) I had my PSA trend chart printed and sitting on his desk when he walked in, which he appreciated seeing the whole history on one page.

I let him start the conversation and it was pretty clear right from the start that he was of the “continue to monitor; no need to act right away” mindset. He really focused on my PSA doubling time being so long as being the reason for his recommendation to just watch this for now.

I shared my conversation with the radiation oncologist with him and he really didn’t comment one way or the other about the R.O.’s initial recommendation to zap.

I did take advantage of the opportunity to discuss the urological side effects of being zapped in salvage radiation therapy. One of the things that I focused on was urinary strictures.

He explained that just by having a prostatectomy and stretching the bladder neck to reconnect with the urethra, you’re in essence creating a stricture to begin with. “That’s a good thing,” he said, “because it helps control the urine flow in the absence of the prostate.” But zapping the area will change the nature of the surrounding tissue and can cause it to close down further. If that’s the case, they may have to do a procedure to re-open things and that’s where you can get into the higher leakage scenarios.

One of the things that really resonated with me during that discussion about side effects was when he said that I shouldn’t even be worried about them because I could go months or years without even having to think about salvage radiation therapy. (And, no, I didn’t prompt him to say that!)

That led to a discussion about the newer imaging technologies and he reinforced what I already knew—that most are unreliable with PSAs less than 0.2 ng/ml. I told him that the spreadsheet that generated my chart shows that I won’t hit 0.2 until late 2020 or early 2021 if it continues at its current pace. Perhaps in that time, the new imaging technologies will be better and more reliable at lower PSA levels. (He was also empathetic to the idea of not zapping unless you knew where the cancer was.)

We also talked about the frequency of my PSA tests and his immediate response was that we could do this every six months, again, based on my PSA doubling time. That surprised me. We’ve been on a four-month cycle for three years now. He said it would be my call, so I opted to stick to the four-month cycle for at least one more cycle.

Wrapping up the conversation, I did ask, “If I do have to get zapped at some point, where would you do it? UCSD or Naval Medical Center?” He deflected my question and never responded, so I asked again. Again, he remained silent but his hint of a grin perhaps answered it for me.

All in all, I was pleased with the consult and am content to continue to monitor, with my next PSA test being in early December.

Yes, I know that more studies are showing that zapping recurrent prostate cancer early leads to better outcomes in the long run. But other studies (Pound, Freedland) show that someone with my pathology can delay or even forego additional treatment and its associated side effects impacting quality of life and stick around for an additional 8-15 years. So, yes, this is a bit like playing a game of chicken or Russian roulette, and that thought never leaves my mind.

So why not get zapped and be done with it? Because quality of life is very important to me and if I can maintain it for a few years more than I want to try and do that. Is there risk of the cancer getting away from me? Of course. But with continued monitoring and perhaps advances in imaging technology, we can stay one or two steps ahead of it.

Time will tell.

Month 93 – Questioning Recommendation

Regular readers of my blog know that I tend to overthink things. Big time.

I’ve had a few days to think about what the radiation oncologist said in his email—about continued monitoring being a very reasonable approach—and I began to question that bit of advice. Not necessarily its validity, but more along the lines of why the change of heart with the doctor?

When we had our consult in May, there was no doubt that his recommendation was to start salvage radiation therapy right away. He presented a pretty strong argument that early treatment is better than delaying. My numbers now are the same as when he gave his “treat now” recommendation, so why the sudden change to “okay to monitor”? Is he just appeasing me, telling me what he thinks I want to hear? Or does this one data point of a stable PSA really justify changing a treatment recommendation?

Don’t fret. As I said, I overthink things.

I’m perfectly content with the “continue to monitor” approach for the foreseeable future. I really don’t question the integrity of the radiation oncologist either. Even if he was appeasing me, part of being a good doctor is listening to the patient’s concerns and understanding that the patient’s perspective needs to be at forefront of any treatment decision. I only met with the doctor once, but given his take-charge personality, I’m confident that he would have argued more forcefully if he truly thought I needed radiation therapy right away.

I’ve put aside my little bout of cynicism and will focus on enjoying the next four months.

Speaking of four months, that’s the other little cloud that rained on my post-PSA parade. “Crap. I’m back in PSA limbo land yet again.” Mentally, I had prepared myself for the PSA to have gone up again and that I would be one step closer to making the zap or not to zap decision. It’s still emotionally draining even after almost eight years of dealing with this. Oh well. Suck it up, buttercup.


On a fun note, I was toying with the idea of driving out to the 96° F / 36° C desert tonight to try and capture the Perseid meteor shower with my camera (I’m writing this on Friday night). But after three hours in the dentist’s chair this afternoon, that ain’t gonna happen. I’m zonked. Perhaps Saturday night.

Here’s what I captured after an hour and a half of standing alone in the desert last year. A near-full moon was rising and illuminating the mountains, but it was beginning to be too bright to see meteors.

Perseid in ABDSP

 

 

Month 89 – Moving Forward

I wasn’t expecting that.

You would have thought that, with me confidently predicting that my latest PSA number would climb, I would have been relatively okay after getting the results Thursday night. Not so. Friday, I plunged into a deep funk, and my ability to concentrate at work dropped to a 2 or 3 on a scale of 10. Not good.

To combat the funk Saturday, I distracted myself by going down a relatively mindless rabbit hole on YouTube. (I know, not my proudest moment, but it worked.) One of the videos that I watch was from a young landscape photographer, Dave Morrow, that was entitled, How Quitting Social Media Changed My Life & Photography. That piqued my interest, so I spent 11 minutes watching it (video below).

As a bit of background, I was really opposed to joining Facebook and other social media years ago. I successfully resisted joining despite pressure from family and friends. In fact, this very blog arose from my disdain for Facebook yet wanting to be able to keep everyone informed about my situation.

But when I started working at the museum, we had a Facebook page for our volunteers and, as volunteer coordinator, I thought it was important to understand how to use it. I set up my own Facebook account as a playground to learn. That was four years ago, and I have to admit that I’ve been sucked into the Facebook vortex over time, spending more hours on it than I should.

The key takeaway for me in Dave’s video was when he said that he took all of the time and energy that he put into social media and devoted it to the things he enjoys and is passionate about instead. That was one of those “Ah-ha!” moments that we all knew about but had to relearn.

Regular readers of this blog will know that one of my favorite things to do is throw my camera in my car and drive. That’s precisely what I did on Sunday and, like the YouTube marathon, it, too, chased away my funk as I took a one and a half mile midday hike in the Anza-Borrego Desert State Park. (Perhaps not the wisest idea in the 90° F / 32° C heat.)

Tonight, rather than heading directly home from the office and hopping on my tablet to get caught up on all the social media postings, I opted to take an hour-long stroll up and down the beach, trousers rolled up to the knees, barefoot, ankle-deep in the incoming surf. It was delightful. (Note to self: Throw a pair of shorts in the trunk so I don’t look so geeky in trousers on the beach. Just a thought!)

I haven’t been on social media since Saturday—it’s been quite refreshing—and I’ve followed Dave’s advice and used that time for more enjoyable endeavors. Yes, it’s been a bit of a challenge not to look on Facebook, but I’ve resisted so far. Will I completely delete my accounts? Time will tell. There has been some advantage in using social media to connect with old friends, to remain connected with those half a continent away, and to even connect with fellow prostate cancer patients.

Dave’s insights were more from a developing and growing his business perspective, but obviously, they could be applied in a personal setting as well. Disconnecting from social media allows me the time to move forward doing things that I enjoy—walking on the beach, hiking in the desert, or snapping a photo or two. Each of those help combat the emotional funk.

Who would have thought that a YouTube video about managing a photography business would have reminded us that we need to eliminate those things that don’t add value or bring joy to our lives, and focus on those things that do?

I wasn’t expecting that.

Month 88 – Ready for Next PSA Test

It’s not often that I want time to pass more quickly in order to get to my next PSA test, but this time it’s different for some reason. I’ve been really anxious to have 3 April roll around to get this over and done with. Perhaps it’s because I suspect that this test will be the tipping point that finally gets me into real decision-making mode.

Of course, I would prefer not to see my PSA continue its gradual climb, but I suspect that it will. My spiffy little spreadsheet predicts a value of 0.115 ng/ml, up from 0.10 ng/ml. Let’s see how accurate its predictive powers are.

On a related note, I’m fairing much better than I was in my last blog post. How did I manage the emotional turnaround? One word: Disconnect.

I disconnected from my prostate cancer forums and from the good old Google machine in an effort to maintain some semblance of sanity, and it worked. That doesn’t mean that I quit them altogether or didn’t read the occasional article that popped up in a news feed, but I stopped actively researching for now.

Sure, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I haven’t thought about my predicament. That’s only normal. I just don’t dwell on it like I did four weeks ago, and that’s improved my mood and focus considerably. Depending on my PSA results (I should be able to retrieve them online on 5 or 6 April), my mood and ability to focus may go out the window again. My appointment with the urologist is on 19 April, and one point of discussion will be a referral to a radiation oncologist.

Between now and then, I’ll do my best to simply forget about it all. Wish me luck!

Day 2,583–PSA Results

PSA 20171204My December PSA results came back just as predicted by my spreadsheet’s silly little trendline: 0.10 ng/ml.

The bad news is that it keeps climbing; the good news is that the doubling rate appears to be about 16 months. My follow-up appointment with my doctor is 19 December 2017 where we’ll probably agree to continue to monitor every 3-4 months for the time being.

Interestingly, from an emotional perspective, this has been pretty much a non-event for me. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that the likely explanation for the increasing PSA is the return of the cancer, so at this point, it’s only confirmation of something that I already suspect/accept/know.

That’s it for now. I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts in this month’s regular post on 11 December.