It’s not often that I want time to pass more quickly in order to get to my next PSA test, but this time it’s different for some reason. I’ve been really anxious to have 3 April roll around to get this over and done with. Perhaps it’s because I suspect that this test will be the tipping point that finally gets me into real decision-making mode.
Of course, I would prefer not to see my PSA continue its gradual climb, but I suspect that it will. My spiffy little spreadsheet predicts a value of 0.115 ng/ml, up from 0.10 ng/ml. Let’s see how accurate its predictive powers are.
On a related note, I’m fairing much better than I was in my last blog post. How did I manage the emotional turnaround? One word: Disconnect.
I disconnected from my prostate cancer forums and from the good old Google machine in an effort to maintain some semblance of sanity, and it worked. That doesn’t mean that I quit them altogether or didn’t read the occasional article that popped up in a news feed, but I stopped actively researching for now.
Sure, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I haven’t thought about my predicament. That’s only normal. I just don’t dwell on it like I did four weeks ago, and that’s improved my mood and focus considerably. Depending on my PSA results (I should be able to retrieve them online on 5 or 6 April), my mood and ability to focus may go out the window again. My appointment with the urologist is on 19 April, and one point of discussion will be a referral to a radiation oncologist.
Between now and then, I’ll do my best to simply forget about it all. Wish me luck!
Dan's Journey through Prostate Cancer 
Good luck, Dan!
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Thanks!
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Good luck.
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Thanks, Eric!
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Hi Dan, the amount of mirroring in your journey and mine is uncanny, same age/pre op psa at diagnosis, same scores, same post op pathology. The only major difference being that my psa made an unwelcome reappearance at 30 months post op. I’m currently at 0.06 having been up to 0.08 and down to 0.05. I completely get the rollercoaster of psa tests, anxiety, disconnect you have been on, I’m going through exactly the same! Also, my next onco appointment is on April 18th. I do wish you the very best and thank you for this wonderful blog. We’re both going to face some huge decisions soon, but let’s hope not too soon. I’m on an up ATM, and have actually never felt better, but the psa monster still comes calling at 3am quite regularly.
Best wishes
Adrian
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Thanks, Adrian.
Sorry to hear that we’re seated side-by-side on that roller coaster, but it’s always good to have someone to compare notes with along the way. I’d be really interested in hearing what your team says after your appointment on the 18th. There are so many different approaches to this that it’s maddening.
I definitely don’t want to rush this decision, so I’m in no hurry to make it, but I also recognize that there’s a narrow window for any “curative” treatment option as well.
All the best to you!
Dan
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Yup go live life, the test will arrive before you know it.
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Thanks, Andrew. I just took a little Sunday drive up the coast—Laguna Beach, Newport Beach, Hutington Beach. It had been forever since I had made that trip and was good to get reacquainted with the area again.
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Glad to hear that disconnecting worked for you. It is a great achievement. Wishing you more peaceful times ahead.
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Thanks, Phil. It was a bit easier than I expected it to be. All the best to you, too!
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I think at some point we just want to be done with it. That’s the way I was with my last PSA. I thought for sure the Xtandi would have failed and my PSA would be up. I was ready for a bad result. What I got was inconclusive. The oncologist decided to call it good and I’m still on the Xtandi. I guess that’s good. I hope you get a conclusively low result.
Disconnection is such a wonderful option to have available when you need it. For me it helps me stay focused in the present, which is usually ok to good. I suspect your photo excursions also provide wonderful escapes from all this cancer crap. You can focus on the beauty in what’s around us. I’m looking forward to your next set of images.
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